We’ve all had it happen to us. We start the day feeling better than ever. You feel like your on top of the world and nothing can bring you down. But then it all goes away. You go from on top of the world and start sinking down through it until your falling endlessly. You feel depressed and you feel like you have no reason to be in the world. You wish you could take your life and smash it up into little bits and pick a new one, but you cant. It happens to me every day. Me, Chad Hershaw, the guy that everyone thinks is always happy go-lucky. I have all the friends I could want, that are always by my side, until I freak out and they’re gone. Not forever, but they’re not there when I need them the most.
I suffer from depression problems every day. I never know when it’s going to happen. It will come whenever it feels like it. I feel like there is nothing for me to do in this world, like I’m just a spare tire for a car never driven. I’m there, but I’m not needed at all. I cope with it by breathing deeply, and by thinking of my friends and family that love and support me. I feel I’m lucky to be able to deal with it in this way, rather than severely hurting myself like most have to do. This way helps me remember all the good things in my life. When it’s over I’m my regular self again. Happy, in a good mood, like even the sky isn’t the limit, like nothing could be the limit, like I could do anything. I feel great for the rest of the day. There is just that short period time where I just can’t help but feel horrible, like nothing can be accomplished. My friends could be there to help me, but I still don’t tell anyone, I don’t take the chance at getting help.
I sat there, staring at the gym floor, while other kids sprint back and forth playing the game I love, but just can’t stay focused on.
“Are you OK?” asked Cam worryingly.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I replied.
“Well you don’t seem fine. You seem like you are in a bad mood.”
“No, I’m just trying to remember a few things my mom asked me to do.” (What a lie)
“Well remember it later, we need you to get in the game, you’re our star player, remember?”
“Oh yeah! Lets go!”
I went on playing in the basketball game, looking good, but secretly I was depressed. Every time I sat on the bench I was calming down. It didn’t take long for me to get over it, which was good since I was the teams star player, and I couldn’t play well while in a bad mood. Once it was over I was playing better than ever. I got 46 points in the game and clinched us a spot in the state finals. The rest of the day went great. I was in a good mood the whole time. I was glad it came early because I can get over it fast and then its gone for the rest of the day. After I got to hang out with my friends shooting hoops in the backyard, and playing Xbox.
My depression has gotten a lot better since I first got it. It’s almost completely gone, and I can control it pretty well. My life has changed a lot from it, but I now every thing happens for a reason, reasons we can’t control sometimes. I know someday I will never have to worry about it anymore. Going through it is painful, but sometimes things work out in the end.
This was a story I wrote for my Language Arts class. I didn’t feel like writing a post for the month of March so I decided to post this on here.
